Psychological studies of consumer behavior shows that “anticipated regret” is an extremely powerful motivator. Anticipated regret is essentially a fear of future loss. It’s one of the factors that keeps losing gamblers going.

So how do we put “anticipated regret” to proper use for ourselves?

First, think of something you know you should do, but you may be putting it off because you feel it’s unpleasant. Now, ask yourself  “what do I have to lose by not taking this action?” Really visualize what that loss might be like, make it as real as possible. The goal is to generate enough push to get you to do the thing you know you should do.

This mindsetting strategy works well for self defense. I suggest to my students that they think about what they have to lose by not survivng an attack, and come up with things that are as meaningful as possible. For me, losing means I might get taken from my children’s lives. I might get injured and lose my mobility and freedom. I might be hurt and unable to work and lose our house and our car. As painful as it might be, I visualize those consequences and link them to the idea of not survivng an attack.

The idea here is that I’ll have the emotional frame of a mother-bear defending her young should I need it.

Now, people are also motivated towards rewards, although to a lesser degree. So I’ll also spend time visualizing all the great things I can experience in the future when I make it past an attack. I use both the carrot and the stick to get through.